Twenty-One Thoughts
I truly feel blessed to know exactly what I want to do in life, but there are times where I doubt myself. It's those times that I'm reminded that I'm only human, I can only control so much in my life. Don't let doubt get the best of you.
So, here's to my twenty-one thoughts.
Search
And yet it hurts.
I know I’m still young and I’ll maybe have a chance at that internship when I’m a bit older, but I can’t help but feel so hurt that I didn’t get it and that one of my friends got it. I know I’m doing quite well for myself, but to see someone else accomplish something so amazing, only makes me feel like I’m not worthy of that same accomplishment.
I want to be happy for them, I really do, but it just hurts too much for me right now. I know I just have to keep working hard and hopefully someday I’ll get that call back, again…
It’s a lot to ask for, but I just wish that there was more acceptance in this day in age. Times have changed, and it’s okay, it’s normal. But there are still a few that aren’t as accepting of these times and it causes tension and problems. I’m truly grateful that I was raised with the understanding that everyone is different, so I’ve become accepting of the fact that not everyone shares the same values as me.
Right now I’m stuck living in a household where others aren’t as accepting and are outspoken about it. It hurts me more than anything and fills me with anger. More so because I can’t really do anything about it but just hope that one day, soon, they’ll become accepting of change.
Just A Bit Overwhelmed
I’ve suddenly become scared, worried, and freaked by the thought of applying to transfer to a university. I know, deep down it’s more so about getting rejected though. Because just what if I don’t get accepted? What then? Stay at a community college for the rest of my life? Become the definition of an intern-queen because I will never be able to find a paid job because I won’t get to attend my dream school?
So many thoughts.
I feel like I’ve made a mistake. I’m not taking school seriously, and I haven’t for awhile. Which leads me to think, maybe I should’ve just went to school down the block and not waste my time going 30 miles out every other day. I don’t like making mistakes, they make me feel stupid and dumb.
I seriously just want to move away and start over. It’s the only thing that sounds so right at this moment in time.
